Confessions Of A Shopaholic

Shopping is America’s favorite activity.  In what other country do unemployed individuals careen through a department store hours before the first break of light trampling one another to get something for the bloated commercialism of holidays that are supposedly religious celebrations?  Confessions Of A Shopaholic exemplifies the excess in American culture and also dampens any serious writers plan of a career because the it demonstrates that the only way to land a coveted position at a major publication is to be an attractive woman with big breasts and tickle the fancy of a power that be and through calamity can become America’s Sweetheart.  It is a funny totally ridiculous premise that would not be a total waste of time when it is on the boob tube as you partake in that other great American activity, channel surfing.

This film was nominated for a Teen Choice Award.  So you get the picture of the highbrow caliber that this movie strives to be.  Isla Fisher is the lead and is the only redeeming element in this predictable comedy that uses that safety net Hollywood employs in comedy: drama that should compel and tear at the heart.

Isla is Rebecca Bloomwood, a young urban professional that has a roommate Suze (Krysten Ritter) who she is always behind in the rent to because of her out of control spending habit for a need of items of fashion such as scarves, shoes, Gucci, and things with names of Europeans.  Rebecca yearns for job writing at a fashion magazine rather than her current role as a journalist for a gardening magazine.  Rebecca finds out that the recently hired Alicia Billington (Leslie Bibb) holds the coveted position from information revealed by the receptionist at the mega-conglomerate publication and advises her to find employment at any magazine under this corporate giant and work her way to her dream.  It just so happens that a financial publication is interviewing that very moment and this effeminate gentleman is so kind as to admit the fashion savvy Rebecca through the glass doors.

A previous scene of hilarity reunites Rebecca and the man on the street that turns out to be the interviewer at the financial publication.  After a faux pas, the interview is over which is followed by the roommates concocting a letter writing session in which the notes are addressed to the wrong recipients.  One goes to the fashion magnate at Alette Magazine’s Alette Naylor (Kristin Scott Thomas) and the other to her interviewer Luke Brandon (Hugh Dancy).  And as easy as pie, Rebecca lands a trial position at the financial magazine and is of course over her head but pulls off a terrific feat and is now butting heads with Alicia of the fashion magazine who finds her boss Luke simply delectable.  In Rebecca’s personal life, she has joined a shopaholic group, is attempting to manage her finances and tries desperately to evade the evil villainous debt collector Derek Smeath.  In the end, everything is nicely resolved and Rebecca’s parents, John Goodman and Joan Cusack, are so elated that their little girl made good.

All of this sounds like an elaborate bad screenplay from my screenwriting class in college.  But yes, it has made its way to 2,534 theaters.  With Isla Fisher in a relationship with maestro Sacha Baron Cohen, he should have been employed to rewrite this.  Isla’s comedic talents are well proven in this film and look forward to seeing her in truly well written films.

I Love You, Man

Most likely you would not want to watch this movie with your parents.  Actually, you will never want to watch this movie with your parents.  Vulgarities run rampant and explicit talk is voiced by everyone on screen in this stimulating and matter of factly presented adult discussion of unmentionables that respectable people just don’t talk about but when these topics are heard, they are only acceptable on Oprah and criticized deeply when it is Howard Stern.

When the film is critiqued, it really rates as one of the best films of 2009.  However, its crass and lewd overtone will prevent it from being recognized from any of the award shows that prefer to wave the wand of favor to films that are “respectable.”

The screenplay takes the flipside of the norm and presents it in an intelligent way.  There is a plot, the characters are well developed, the dialogue is in a league of its own, and the mediocrity and idiocy of films with filthy language (the more recent National Lampoon and Broken Lizard) is absent.

I Love You Man is all about the double standard in the favor of women.  The men in this film are not the typical party sex monger irresponsible sorts generally found in films that go to great lengths discussing oral sex.  All of these men are obsequious and committed to their wives or girlfriends.

Rashida Jones is Zooey Rice who proudly gives her hand to the man with big real estate development plans.  She has her plethora of friends that includes Denise (Jamie Presley.) Immediately after getting engaged she conferences them from the car speakerphone and after the high pitched squealing of delight, her fiancé Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd) drives home knowing that her friends have the 411 on their entire sexual history.  Zooey sees nothing wrong with that.  At a girl’s night party at their home, Peter shows up unnoticed and innocently eavesdrops on the conversation as he brings out a tray of drinks for the dozen in session.  What he hears leaves him a bit flustered.  He needs friends.  He needs friends for a bridal party.

Making the big announcement to his family, the couple dines with his parents and brother.  Paul sits with his mom who is also his best friend, which is scoffed at.  When Paul’s dad, Oswald (J.K. Simmons), announces that his best friend is an old buddy and his other son, the homosexual, that’s totally cool and acceptable. The dad bluntly speaks about his son’s sexual preference and desires.   While Paul’s brother (Andy Samberg) was out looking for man member, Paul was more content in committed relationships without much male companionship.  So the search is on for friends.

Paul attempts to mingle with friends from fencing and at Denise’s house playing poker with her husband Barry (Jon Favreau.)  Not being much of a social drinker or a card player, Paul projectile vomits on Barry.  Thus ending any possible friendship.  His brother and mother set him up on man dates.  The characters are funny and one date went well up until the good night tonsil hockey that threw Paul for a curve.

Nothing is truer than finding something when not looking for it.  Where?  Of all places, at Lou Ferrigno’s multi-million dollar listing with a huge sculpture of the massive man and pictures of The Incredible Hulk.  Here Paul’s bromance begins with a wealthy investment guy by the name of Sydney Fife (Jason Segel.)

Sydney, an investor, is the most straightforward and honest guy around.  He calls it like it is (much like a child does) and this throws people off guard.  He lives in Venice Beach with a room for indulging: drums, basses, TV, music, rocking out to Rush and a chair for masturbating.  They do everything together that a film about a male and female would do during the nurturing stages of a relationship.

Rides on Sydney’s Vespa, long hikes, and walks along the beach with a dog that he named Anwar Sadat because of its resemblance to the assassinated Egyptian President.

They also do guy things.  Play instruments to their favorite band’s catalog, cause a raucous, and leave dog poop which factors much into the story.

It is all really funny.  Unlike Step Brothers, which was inane, this movie was not a series of calculated laugh riot skits paced throughout the film to keep your continuous interest.  Guaranteed, your interest will never wane when watching this film.  Paul Rudd and Jason Segel work so well together.  They are easily the next best comic team.

Paul needs a backbone and Sydney is there to nurture one when dealing with another real estate agent that wants to share the Ferrigno listing.  Sydney confronts The Hulk for his friend and does something to show his true friendship.  Things may not go as Sydney planned.  Of course, this relationship spoils what Paul and Zooey had such as Sunday nights together.  Paul explains that Sunday night is HBO night because it’s not TV, it’s HBO.

When Sydney makes a speech at an engagement dinner, what should have been hush hush about Paul’s confession to Sydney about his fiancés lack of enthusiasm for certain acts, the double standard is applied and the strain is on.

From here the film takes on the crisis and offers the resolution.  It’s funny, funny, funny.

See it.

Step Brothers

Screenplay written by… I could not imagine that the Will Ferrell and Adam McKay screenwriting session for Step Brothers amounted to anything more than this:

Int.  Living Room.  Day

On the floor amid beer bottles, bongs, Metallica posters, and nudie magazines sits two disheveled eternal teenagers.

Will

Dude, we should make a movie.

Adam

Yeah, but we need money.

Will

I got your back. I made $31million last year.  Besides, Dick Cheney loved my George Bush show and gave me a lot of cash and this big bag of weed.

Adam

(laughing)

I saw your Penis in that show.

Will

John C. Reilly called me to compliment me on it and showed me his.  I don’t know, it’s like we are brothers.

Adam

That’s it man!  You two should be step brothers that never had jobs and you two share a room and make bunk beds and at first hate each other and he could play drums and tell you not to touch them but you do and he kills you and buries you…

Will

And like I ain’t dead so I get out of the grave and bury him instead.

Adam

And you two could crash his father’s boat and start a band and your real brother is a dork so John bangs his wife while the whole family watches at dinner.  This is so rad.

Will

Yeah, cool.  We could start on Monday.  Let’s budget it for over 60 Million.

Adam

I’ll direct.  Pass the joint.

Is it a bad movie?  Not really.  Is it a good movie?  Not really.  This is what the doctor ordered for a mind numbing experience sitting on the couch or laying in bed.  With such vulgarity and inane humor, it musters up such abhor in the stingiest and crustiest of snobs while causing the casual viewer munching on potato chips to choke from a fit of laughter during certain scenes.

Saturday Night Alumni are quite a breed.  Steve Martin heads the honor roll while others like Horatio Sanz try to successfully go on alone and Tina Fey bolted straight to the TV studio next door.  Will Ferrell has tackled Broadway and has starred in numerous comedies that includes my favorite, Elf.  This actor has range.  A serious Ferrell is seen in Stranger Than Fiction.  Let’s just wrinkle our noses and make Bewitched disappear.  If this funnyman does not curb his enthusiasm for stupid comedy and raise the quality of his steps, he will never attain Steve Martin status and may be part of the falling star belt.

The plot to Step Brothers is useless to explain.  The film is comprised of a series of crude antics and vulgarity.  Does it try to be a serious film?  No.  And that is what makes it worthwhile.  It did not attempt to weigh in some dramatic overtones to cover up if the comedy did not fly.  That’s usually the hangman’s noose in comedic cinema.

Bruno

This is the story of a lone Austrian that is auf weidersehen from his fashion television show and comes to Los Angeles to be famous.  But he wishes not to be famous for being famous.  He has talent and he wants Hollywood to showcase that talent for him.

Sasha Baron Cohen exposes people for what they truly are in his film.  Self centered loathing creatures, sycophants, those that would sell their two-year old children for a chance to appear in a commercial.  The ignorant, the racist, the homophobic, are cast together for a gathering of America’s lowliest.

In Borat-style, the film is a combination between scripted acted scenes and pseudo-documentary style with unsuspecting participants.   As Bruno jet sets across the land, each location’s situation could be a feature length film.Bold may describe the actual balls it takes to do what Cohen has done as his Bruno character interviews former Presidential candidate Ron Paul or the former Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security.  Under the guise of a real interview, the interview is halted due to a loss of light.  Each guest is escorted into the hotel bedroom to await the bulb replacement and unwind.  Bruno shows off his doctor’s report for a clean bill of health where is devoid of any viruses, warts, or any STD’s.  He compliments each man on his appearance and shows off his physique.  Some were spared but the unlucky ones witnessed the dropping of his pants.  Each guest makes a hasty exit.

Last year, Cohen’s antics made the news as he was filming with the National Guard.  This is a true credit to whomever it is that gets the permission to film in these places. The ultimate prize is when Bruno travels to Palestine and meets with an actual leader of a group that is billed as a terrorist organization.  It depends on your personal views if the gentleman interviewed is an actual terrorist or not.  In Bruno’s quest for fame, his plan was to be kidnapped by Ayman Abu Aita.  Bruno makes a hasty exit after he was asked to leave.

Fashion places itself as the world leader in all things important.  Cohen finds the perfect cretin to fall into his trap to expose the filth that are self absorbed designers and models.  One tart falls face first into his bashing as she admits to having gone through therapy because she is so beautiful.

Bruno disrupts Fashion Week in Milan as he wears a Velcro suit and like a fly to flypaper, he gets stuck to fabrics and dashes onto the catwalk.  Once again, this is something that I saw on E! News last year.  In one incident, the fashionista butts heads with a designer at his own show demanding that he and not the designer sits in the front row.

Another creature that the Brit thespian seems fascinated with is the American Redneck.  Once as Borat, now as Bruno, Cohen tackles the Gay Haters and Mixed Martial Arts.  The varmints that attended Straight Dave’s MMA fight were in for a real treat.  Imagine the horror that contorts the faces of the inbred as the spectacle in the cage.

Bruno is an eccentric gay character with some bizarre sexual desires but not once is he attacking gays.  He is using the stereotype as a form of entertainment and exploits those in society that are fueled with anti-gay “values” and each of these fools demonstrates how ignorant they are.

Cohen attacks the pop-tarts that take on a cause to become even more famous.  And the two biggest tarts are the Celebrity Charity Public Relations girls that take Cohen’s lead and try to find a cause that is not so yesterday or is already taken or a cause that will keep people away by its ugliness.  So to Africa Bruno goes to trade a limited edition IPOD for his cause:  A young black child like Madonna and Angelina Jolie have.  In the film, the list of celebrity causes seems to be taken by white celebrities.  Perhaps he should have mocked Oprah Winfrey for her only Black Only dinners, triumph celebrations, and outreaches.

Absolutely, some of his guests are mortified.  It’s funny if you know it’s a joke.  But this is masterful manipulation and a real eye opener to the society in which we live.  His stint on a talk show had guests leaving and ready to take his “child.”  He caused quite a stir with what people viewed as the intention behind his adoption.

I would like to see Cohen play a political analyst and take on the radio and television hosts that spew hatred, bigotry, and genocide like king Asshole Michael Savage and big baby Bill O’Reilly and those phony patriotic Americans Sean Hannity and every republican and Democratic lap dog.  Now that would be fun.